A Case Summary:
Your Individual and / or couple’s Marriage Counselor
This couple’s history revealed that two years earlier their young boy was hit by a car while biking. Their life drastically changed: worries, fears, costs, endless hospital and doctor visits. Not surprisingly, J. (the wife) realized, she had hardly talked to her husband for those two years and only sporadically spent times with him. She reflected: "we were blessed to not have an abusive marriage, but it was troubled, sexless and we were on the edge of a marriage crisis and a break up". J. was searching for a Marriage Counselor since her husband, D., told her he wanted to move out; she suspected he had already began seeing another woman. D. refused to meet a 'regular', face to face Marriage Counselor due to the difficult emotional process, but agreed to my involvement as an Online Marriage Counselor.
During the first two months we communicated via a conference call procedure - he was at work, she was at home. At first I wanted them to relate to their son’s tragic accident; their pain and worries seemed to address different themes, as if they came from non-related persons. Soon it became clear to the three of us that avoiding communication was unconsciously serving as a hidden survival valve that protected them from blaming each other. Once they were ready to talk, D. attacked his wife for her permission to allow bicycling on their street (other parents in their development allowed it)... J. attacked D. saying their son would not have been hit, if he had been properly trained; it was his father’s lack of parenting that actually caused the accident …
At this stage they both realized there were other disturbing factors in their marriage. Three months of continued Relationship Advice and counseling, now with both of them sitting at home, helped to create new emotional bonds. Their avoidance of intimacy was discussed, rooted to their mutual dominant personalities and countered with proper communication skills which I guided. As a result, they were ready to talked and analyze the reasons for their faded sexuality. I then could establish a gradual, step by step courtship process which showed an intimacy comeback. And finally, the couple reached a point of looking at their cognitive functions. Joint decision making, negotiation skills and conflict resolution techniques were quickly presented, exercised and utilized in actual family situations.
It was almost a yearly process, but the marriage was saved.